i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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