My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
