I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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