i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
