The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
