where am i from again
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
