4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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