allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
