Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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