Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
