They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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