biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
