I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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