At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This baby is an asshole
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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