Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
