Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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