so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
