awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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