How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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