"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
