Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
