Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
