girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
