I must be too annoying 4 u.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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