I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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