Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
