The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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