She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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