We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
