i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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