it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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