I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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