he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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