Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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