it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
