The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
