i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
