Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
