I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
