Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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