It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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