and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
