Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
