so that wasnt chicken after all
there's paper in my vomit.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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