i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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