I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
