I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
