Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You're like the curious george of whores
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
