You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
