Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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