Dual....:-)
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
