i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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