So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
