Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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