I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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