This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
