Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
