The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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