remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
