Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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