how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
