i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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