I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
