I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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