You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
