It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
