if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
