i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
