no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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