I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
