covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
