I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
